# Archive for May, 2011

# You Know You’re A Math Major If (Part 4 of a Series)

You try to find mathematical patterns in the stock market

Pi is your favorite movie

You know more than 3 ways to prove the Pythagorean theorem

You know how to pronounce “Pythagorean” correctly

You’ve actually been in a real-life situation where you had to find “x”

- You tell math jokes
- You got the above math joke
- You do vector calculus for fun
- You start to lose your mind if you can’t find a pattern in a series of numbers
- You think of everything in terms of a mathematical model
- You never seem to need a calculator for anything
- A spider on the ceiling immediately makes you think of René Descartes
- You don’t play games on your calculator, that’s for the common man. You
*graph*stuff for fun. - You’re angry that the calculator on your phone doesn’t have scientific functions
- You don’t think “iff” is a typo
- You’re told to pay attention in class, but what your professor doesn’t realize is that you’re doing next month’s homework
- You know pi to more than 2 decimal places, and try to impress others by letting them know how far past “.14” you can go
- You’re so good at math that the D’s you got in English don’t matter
- You think of getting older as “losing functions”
- You’d rather use letters for variables than for forming words
- When you
*do*write essays, the words “let”, “such that”, and “therefore” are everywhere - You can do Sudoku for days on end
- You try to find mathematical patterns in the stock market
*Pi*is your favorite movie- You know more than 3 ways to prove the Pythagorean theorem
- You know how to pronounce “Pythagorean” correctly
- You’ve actually been in a real-life situation where you had to find “x”
- You see a gap in the sidewalk, but it doesn’t bother you because you know the sidewalk is continuous on its domain
- You enjoy posing questions that you can’t answer
- You think mistakes are just as interesting as correct answers
- You follow the order of operations as a personal commandment
- You feel bad for telling the guy next to you in lecture that 1 = 0, and watching his brain explode
- You lie in wait for other students to drop out of advanced math classes, and calculate the probability of their doing so while you wait
- You’ve given up asking your parents for help with math homework
- You regularly use “dividing by zero” in your jokes
- You know how to write several words using only one symbol
- You know all the trig identities by heart
- You know the entire Greek alphabet by heart, and you can write all of it neatly
- You have an infinity symbol on your wedding ring
- The word “extraneous” is part of your everyday vocabulary
- You very much dislike doing
*anything*in more than one step - Your girlfriend/boyfriend disagrees with you on the above statement
- You prefer to do calculations yourself as you don’t trust computers to avoid mistakes
- You use math-related pickup lines
- You have a “problem-solving soundtrack”
- You’ve rapped about math while doing it
- M.C. Escher is your favorite M.C.
- You can count in 9’s, 13’s, or 17’s with ease
- You confuse people every time you talk about “real” numbers
- You can do “percent of change” for just about anything
- You can actually explain significant figures to someone else
- You re-work sample problems in your head while taking a shower
- You know that the cat with the lowest mu will always fall off the roof first
- You know what the “Golden Ratio” is, and you look for it everywhere
- You’ve corrected your professor while he/she was demonstrating a complex problem
- Your professor’s problems take up more than one board
- You write the “summation” symbol on a daily basis, even outside of class
- You’ve developed your own proof
- You can do unit conversions in your head
- People call you a “math whiz”
- You mentally convert complex objects into simple shapes to better understand them
- You can solve for three or more variables simultaneously
- Fractional exponents don’t scare you
- Negative exponents don’t scare you
- Negative fractional exponents don’t scare you
- You’d give anything to meet Archimedes
- You don’t consider long-distance running a “method of exhaustion”
- You can find the area or volume of any shape
- You can re-write an equation in two or more ways
- You can solve the same math problem using three or more methods
- You adore optimization
- You’ve considered becoming a math professor
- You’ve considered becoming an architect
- You calculated how much of this list applies to you
- You are doing calculations of some kind while reading this
- Your homework for this week, next week, and the week after that was done before reading this
- You should really stop reading this, it’s so inefficient.

# You know You’re a Computer Science Major If…

You can use, and do use Linux….possibly Ubuntu.

You can type faster than you can speak.

You can type pretty accurately while drunk.

- You get confused if someone asks you if you have string.
- Your idea of syntax involves indents and parentheses, not commas, periods, subjects and predicates.
- You think boolean algebra kicks regular algebra’s ass.
- You think Mods and Modular Arithmetic are AWESOME
- You can make programs to do your math homework for you.
- You HAVE made programs to do your math homework for you.
- You could never do “times-tables” or multiplication too well, but you know your powers of 2, 8 and 16 up to the 10th or higher.
- You find digital circuits fascinating.
- Your diet is or has been at some time comprised solely of Mountain Dew and candy
- You have Mountain Dew and candy on hand while reading this.
- You know their is no such thing as a “random number” generator.
- You think efficient algorithms are nice.
- You hate when people choose shitty variable names.
- You have accidentally created at least one infinite loop.
- You can figure out an algorithm’s time complexity in “Θ” terms.
- Big O, Big Ω , and Big Θ…..right?
- You know at least 2 programming languages well enough, and probably one form of “pseudo-code.”
- You know that calculus really doesn’t have much on discrete mathematics.
- You can use, and do use Linux….possibly Ubuntu.
- You can type faster than you can speak.
- You can type pretty accurately while drunk.
- You have a firm affinity for elegant code.
- You hate when people under comment code.
- You hate when people over comment code.
- You have coded a program that encodes and decodes a Vigenere cipher.
- You have coded a program that encodes and decodes a Caesar cipher.
- You have invented your OWN cipher, and coded a program to encode and decode it.
- You know what a “stack” is
- You know what a “stack overflow” is
- You’ve memorized the html code for all the colors of the rainbow, and beyond

# You Know You’re A Studio Arts Major If (Part 7 of a Series)

You don’t really strive to be wealthy in your future

Your portfolio is your life

You feel you must describe things using “art words”

You’re thrown off by a poorly-cropped picture

- You want to paint everything you look at
- You can make any color you want
- You hate your own work, while everyone else loves it
- You’ve stared at a fellow classmate for over 5 minutes straight
- You are often suspected by others to use some type of drug
- You have a bump on your middle finger from using a pencil
- You’ve seen more people naked than you ever really wanted to
- People ask why there are streaks of paint or graphite on your face
- You can create 3 or more new works using just a photo, a scanner, and a computer
- You have mini-masterpieces in the margins of your notebooks
- Your hair isn’t a natural color
- You and your friends talk about how much “deeper” you are than everyone else
- You anticipate and then discuss the latest Indie film
- You discuss the cost of oil paints with your friends
- You can draw in 30 seconds what takes others 3 hours, and yours looks better
- Your body has more than 3 piercings
- You use Facebook to finish assignments that are due the next day
- You know that colors have “intensities” and “values”
- You consider the interpretation of artwork to be dependent on perspective
- You don’t really strive to be wealthy in your future
- Your portfolio is your life
- You feel you
*must*describe things using “art words” - You’re thrown off by a poorly-cropped picture
- People see meanings in your work that you didn’t intend for it to have
- You’re thrilled when things are in proportion
- You’re not sure what to do with your degree once you get it
- You wonder what might have happened if Hitler had stuck to painting
- You feel that if you fail art school, you can always become a dictator
- It’s fairly easy to walk out of one of your classes
- You know that can’t stop working or you’ll “lose your talent”
- People buy you blank canvases on your birthday
- You love going to art shows and/or galleries
- Your wrists hurt on a regular basis
- You can name colors that others just associate with the primary names
- Art supplies have put you into early bankruptcy
- Your dorm is your second home, and the studio your first
- You know the difference between
*Monet*and*Manet* - There’s always paint or charcoal on your elbows
- You know never to wear white to class
- Your teachers are rather borderline, to say the least
- You’ve considered being an art teacher
- You’ve auctioned off your work
- You have a certain work that you can’t seem to finish
- You know that a true work of art is never finished, just like this list

# You Know You’re An Engineering Major If (Part 9 of a Series)

Your calculator is your best friend

You took offense at the above statement because you never need a calculator

It’s 70 degrees and sunny out, and you’re working on a computer

You brought a jacket to work, even on a hot day, because there’s a chill factor in the lab

- Your social life is nonexistent
- You enjoy pain
- Your I.Q. is higher than your weight
- You make checklists for everything
- You consider any non-engineering class “easy”
- Your calculator is your best friend
- You took offense at the above statement because you never need a calculator
- It’s 70 degrees and sunny out, and you’re working on a computer
- You brought a jacket to work, even on a hot day, because there’s a chill factor in the lab
- You can translate English into binary
- You’re constantly drawn to fix things that are broken
- You’re constantly drawn to fix things that aren’t broken
- You’ve calculated how much money you make per second at your job
- Curves make you happy, but not necessarily when they’re on another person
- People act like they haven’t seen you in a long time whenever you go out
- You’ve experienced abusive love-triangle relationships with your compass and/or protractor
- You know that if you work while taking classes, you’ll end up having to retake at least one class
- You don’t see the glass as half-empty
*or*half-full, but as being*twice as big as it needs to be* - You consider optimization a reason to live
- Your TAs have mostly foreign names
- Your professors have mostly foreign names
- You’ve run out of variables to use when solving a problem
- You have technology-related websites bookmarked on your computer
- You’ve actually used the math that everyone from high school claimed they’d “never use in real life”
- Someone asks you the temperature, and you respond in Kelvin
- You always try to see how much you can get away with using the least amount of everything
- You’ve considered designing aircraft (or spacecraft) for a living
- You’ve already designed one or both of the above
- You’ve made it through Fluid Mechanics alive
- You know that greater efficiency is never a bad thing
- You’ve used a wind tunnel in one of your classes
- You’ve built your own wind tunnel
- You don’t just know the most common trig identities, you know
*all*the trig identities - You know the derivatives of all said trig identities off the top of your head
- You are able to design a chemical plant
- You appreciate the true beauty of crude oil distillation
- You consider ways that passing cars could be redesigned so they are more aerodynamic
- You’re fluent in 3 or more computer languages
- You’re constantly considering ways to give items more uses
- You consider difficult problems “beautiful” after you solve them
- You know that if you build a bridge and it falls down, you won’t get partial credit
- You’ve spent more money on computer software than you have on clothing
- Your significant other communicates with you primarily via email
- You can name 6 or more Star Trek episodes
- People always ask you to assemble things for them
- You know the value of duct tape for solving problems
- When the lights burn out at Christmas time, you find the one faulty bulb
- You window-shop at electronics stores
- You like to take things apart just to see how they work
- You’ve considered building your own nuclear reactor
- You’re already gathering materials to build your own nuclear reactor
- You see a good design, but you can’t resist changing it
- You save parts from broken appliances
- The salespeople at Best Buy can’t answer any of your questions
- You still own a slide rule, and know how to use it
- You own a set of miniature tools
- You can’t find your set of miniature tools because they’re buried in your other tools
- You rush up to fix visual aids in other people’s presentations when they don’t work
- You remember several computer passwords, but forget your anniversary
- You watch all the shows on the Discovery Channel
- You can type 70+ words per minute
- You can’t read your own handwriting
- When you pick music at parties, people quickly change it again
- You feel that “Mission Control” are the real heroes at NASA
- You’ve gotten a job offer from NASA
- You have a neatly organized collection of various nuts and bolts in your garage
- Your computer costs more than your car
- Caffeine is one of your basic food groups
- You found a way to better-optimize this list
- You’re angry because this list didn’t end on an even number