Archive for May, 2011

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Thu May

You Know You’re A Math Major If (Part 4 of a Series)

You try to find mathematical patterns in the stock market
Pi is your favorite movie
You know more than 3 ways to prove the Pythagorean theorem
You know how to pronounce “Pythagorean” correctly
You’ve actually been in a real-life situation where you had to find “x”

mathjoke

Picture from Sharenator.com

  • You tell math jokes
  • You got the above math joke
  • You do vector calculus for fun
  • You start to lose your mind if you can’t find a pattern in a series of numbers
  • You think of everything in terms of a mathematical model
  • You never seem to need a calculator for anything
  • A spider on the ceiling immediately makes you think of René Descartes
  • You don’t play games on your calculator, that’s for the common man. You graph stuff for fun.
  • You’re angry that the calculator on your phone doesn’t have scientific functions
  • You don’t think “iff” is a typo
  • You’re  told to pay attention in class, but what your professor doesn’t realize is that you’re doing next month’s homework
  • You know pi to more than 2 decimal places, and try to impress others by letting them know how far past “.14” you can go
  • You’re so good at math that the D’s you got in English don’t matter
  • You think of getting older as “losing functions”
  • You’d rather use letters for variables than for forming words
  • When you do write essays, the words “let”, “such that”, and “therefore” are everywhere
  • You can do Sudoku for days on end
  • You try to find mathematical patterns in the stock market
  • Pi is your favorite movie
  • You know more than 3 ways to prove the Pythagorean theorem
  • You know how to pronounce “Pythagorean” correctly
  • You’ve actually been in a real-life situation where you had to find “x”
  • You see a gap in the sidewalk, but it doesn’t bother you because you know the sidewalk is continuous on its domain
  • You enjoy posing questions that you can’t answer
  • You think mistakes are just as interesting as correct answers
  • You follow the order of operations as a personal commandment
  • You feel bad for telling the guy next to you in lecture that 1 = 0, and watching his brain explode
  • You lie in wait for other students to drop out of advanced math classes, and calculate the probability of their doing so while you wait
  • You’ve given up asking your parents for help with math homework
  • You regularly use “dividing by zero” in your jokes
  • You know how to write several words using only one symbol
  • You know all the trig identities by heart
  • You know the entire Greek alphabet by heart, and you can write all of it neatly
  • You have an infinity symbol on your wedding ring
  • The word “extraneous” is part of your everyday vocabulary
  • You very much dislike doing anything in more than one step
  • Your girlfriend/boyfriend disagrees with you on the above statement
  • You prefer to do calculations yourself as you don’t trust computers to avoid mistakes
  • You use math-related pickup lines
  • You have a “problem-solving soundtrack”
  • You’ve rapped about math while doing it
  • M.C. Escher is your favorite M.C.
  • You can count in 9’s, 13’s, or 17’s with ease
  • You confuse people every time you talk about “real” numbers
  • You can do “percent of change” for just about anything
  • You can actually explain significant figures to someone else
  • You re-work sample problems in your head while taking a shower
  • You know that the cat with the lowest mu will always fall off the roof first
  • You know what the “Golden Ratio” is, and you look for it everywhere
  • You’ve corrected your professor while he/she was demonstrating a complex problem
  • Your professor’s problems take up more than one board
  • You write the “summation” symbol on a daily basis, even outside of class
  • You’ve developed your own proof
  • You can do unit conversions in your head
  • People call you a “math whiz”
  • You mentally convert complex objects into simple shapes to better understand them
  • You can solve for three or more variables simultaneously
  • Fractional exponents don’t scare you
  • Negative exponents don’t scare you
  • Negative fractional exponents don’t scare you
  • You’d give anything to meet Archimedes
  • You don’t consider long-distance running a “method of exhaustion”
  • You can find the area or volume of any shape
  • You can re-write an equation in two or more ways
  • You can solve the same math problem using three or more methods
  • You adore optimization
  • You’ve considered becoming a math professor
  • You’ve considered becoming an architect
  • You calculated how much of this list applies to you
  • You are doing calculations of some kind while reading this
  • Your homework for this week, next week, and the week after that was done before reading this
  • You should really stop reading this, it’s so inefficient.

 

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Thu May

You know You’re a Computer Science Major If…

You can use, and do use Linux….possibly Ubuntu.
You can type faster than you can speak.
You can type pretty accurately while drunk.

  • You get confused if someone asks you if you have string.
  • Your idea of syntax involves indents and parentheses, not commas, periods, subjects and predicates.
  • You think boolean algebra kicks regular algebra’s ass.
  • You think Mods and Modular Arithmetic are AWESOME
  • You can make programs to do your math homework for you.
  • You HAVE made programs to do your math homework for you.
  • You could never do “times-tables” or multiplication too well, but you know your powers of 2, 8 and 16 up to the 10th or higher.
  • You find digital circuits fascinating.
  • Your diet is or has been at some time comprised solely of Mountain Dew and candy
  • You have Mountain Dew and candy on hand while reading this.
  • You know their is no such thing as a “random number” generator.
  • You think efficient algorithms are nice.
  • You hate when people choose shitty variable names.
  • You have accidentally created at least one infinite loop.
  • You can figure out an algorithm’s time complexity in “Θ” terms.
  • Big O, Big Ω , and Big Θ…..right?
  • You know at least 2 programming languages well enough, and probably one form of “pseudo-code.”
  • You know that calculus really doesn’t have much on discrete mathematics.
  • You can use, and do use Linux….possibly Ubuntu.
  • You can type faster than you can speak.
  • You can type pretty accurately while drunk.
  • You have a firm affinity for elegant code.
  • You hate when people under comment code.
  • You hate when people over comment code.
  • You have coded a program that encodes and decodes a Vigenere cipher.
  • You have coded a program that encodes and decodes a Caesar cipher.
  • You have invented your OWN cipher, and coded a program to encode and decode it.
  • You know what a “stack” is
  • You know what a “stack overflow” is
  • You’ve memorized the html code for all the colors of the rainbow, and beyond
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Thu May

You Know You’re A Studio Arts Major If (Part 7 of a Series)

You don’t really strive to be wealthy in your future
Your portfolio is your life
You feel you must describe things using “art words”
You’re thrown off by a poorly-cropped picture

 

  • You want to paint everything you look at
  • You can make any color you want
  • You hate your own work, while everyone else loves it
  • You’ve stared at a fellow classmate for over 5 minutes straight
  • You are often suspected by others to use some type of drug
  • You have a bump on your middle finger from using a pencil
  • You’ve seen more people naked than you ever really wanted to
  • People ask why there are streaks of paint or graphite on your face
  • You can create 3 or more new works using just a photo, a scanner, and a computer
  • You have mini-masterpieces in the margins of your notebooks
  • Your hair isn’t a natural color
  • You and your friends talk about how much “deeper” you are than everyone else
  • You anticipate and then discuss the latest Indie film
  • You discuss the cost of oil paints with your friends
  • You can draw in 30 seconds what takes others 3 hours, and yours looks better
  • Your body has more than 3 piercings
  • You use Facebook to finish assignments that are due the next day
  • You know that colors have “intensities” and “values”
  • You consider the interpretation of artwork to be dependent on perspective
  • You don’t really strive to be wealthy in your future
  • Your portfolio is your life
  • You feel you must describe things using “art words”
  • You’re thrown off by a poorly-cropped picture
  • People see meanings in your work that you didn’t intend for it to have
  • You’re thrilled when things are in proportion
  • You’re not sure what to do with your degree once you get it
  • You wonder what might have happened if Hitler had stuck to painting
  • You feel that if you fail art school, you can always become a dictator
  • It’s fairly easy to walk out of one of your classes
  • You know that can’t stop working or you’ll “lose your talent”
  • People buy you blank canvases on your birthday
  • You love going to art shows and/or galleries
  • Your wrists hurt on a regular basis
  • You can name colors that others just associate with the primary names
  • Art supplies have put you into early bankruptcy
  • Your dorm is your second home, and the studio your first
  • You know the difference between Monet and Manet
  • There’s always paint or charcoal on your elbows
  • You know never to wear white to class
  • Your teachers are rather borderline, to say the least
  • You’ve considered being an art teacher
  • You’ve auctioned off your work
  • You have a certain work that you can’t seem to finish
  • You know that a true work of art is never finished, just like this list
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Thu May

You Know You’re An Engineering Major If (Part 9 of a Series)

Your calculator is your best friend
You took offense at the above statement because you never need a calculator
It’s 70 degrees and sunny out, and you’re working on a computer
You brought a jacket to work, even on a hot day, because there’s a chill factor in the lab

  • Your social life is nonexistent
  • You enjoy pain
  • Your I.Q. is higher than your weight
  • You make checklists for everything
  • You consider any non-engineering class “easy”
  • Your calculator is your best friend
  • You took offense at the above statement because you never need a calculator
  • It’s 70 degrees and sunny out, and you’re working on a computer
  • You brought a jacket to work, even on a hot day, because there’s a chill factor in the lab
  • You can translate English into binary
  • You’re constantly drawn to fix things that are broken
  • You’re constantly drawn to fix things that aren’t broken
  • You’ve calculated how much money you make per second at your job
  • Curves make you happy, but not necessarily when they’re on another person
  • People act like they haven’t seen you in a long time whenever you go out
  • You’ve experienced abusive love-triangle relationships with your compass and/or protractor
  • You know that if you work while taking classes, you’ll end up having to retake at least one class
  • You don’t see the glass as half-empty or half-full, but as being twice as big as it needs to be
  • You consider optimization a reason to live
  • Your TAs have mostly foreign names
  • Your professors have mostly foreign names
  • You’ve run out of variables to use when solving a problem
  • You have technology-related websites bookmarked on your computer
  • You’ve actually used the math that everyone from high school claimed they’d “never use in real life”
  • Someone asks you the temperature, and you respond in Kelvin
  • You always try to see how much you can get away with using the least amount of everything
  • You’ve considered designing aircraft (or spacecraft) for a living
  • You’ve already designed one or both of the above
  • You’ve made it through Fluid Mechanics alive
  • You know that greater efficiency is never a bad thing
  • You’ve used a wind tunnel in one of your classes
  • You’ve built your own wind tunnel
  • You don’t just know the most common trig identities, you know all the trig identities
  • You know the derivatives of all said trig identities off the top of your head
  • You are able to design a chemical plant
  • You appreciate the true beauty of crude oil distillation
  • You consider ways that passing cars could be redesigned so they are more aerodynamic
  • You’re fluent in 3 or more computer languages
  • You’re constantly considering ways to give items more uses
  • You consider difficult problems “beautiful” after you solve them
  • You know that if you build a bridge and it falls down, you won’t get partial credit
  • You’ve spent more money on computer software than you have on clothing
  • Your significant other communicates with you primarily via email
  • You can name 6 or more Star Trek episodes
  • People always ask you to assemble things for them
  • You know the value of duct tape for solving problems
  • When the lights burn out at Christmas time, you find the one faulty bulb
  • You window-shop at electronics stores
  • You like to take things apart just to see how they work
  • You’ve considered building your own nuclear reactor
  • You’re already gathering materials to build your own nuclear reactor
  • You see a good design, but you can’t resist changing it
  • You save parts from broken appliances
  • The salespeople at Best Buy can’t answer any of your questions
  • You still own a slide rule, and know how to use it
  • You own a set of miniature tools
  • You can’t find your set of miniature tools because they’re buried in your other tools
  • You rush up to fix visual aids in other people’s presentations when they don’t work
  • You remember several computer passwords, but forget your anniversary
  • You watch all the shows on the Discovery Channel
  • You can type 70+ words per minute
  • You can’t read your own handwriting
  • When you pick music at parties, people quickly change it again
  • You feel that “Mission Control” are the real heroes at NASA
  • You’ve gotten a job offer from NASA
  • You have a neatly organized collection of various nuts and bolts in your garage
  • Your computer costs more than your car
  • Caffeine is one of your basic food groups
  • You found a way to better-optimize this list
  • You’re angry because this list didn’t end on an even number
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