When exposed to pictures of their respective “addictions”, studies have shown that MRIs of cocaine users and romantic lovers light up in the same areas of the brain. Coincidentally, cocaine and love also have similar withdrawal symptoms. Losing your drug, whether it is a person or a substance, can be horribly discomforting.
You’ve probably experienced rejection in some form or another. Perhaps your first big taste of rejection came in the form of a thin letter from the college you wished you could have gotten into. Maybe it was the high school girl or boy that wouldn’t go out with you. Regardless, you’ve probably experienced failure and rejection before.
Part of college is learning how to deal with rejection and heartbreak in a positive manner, instead of dealing with heartbreak in self deprecating and destructive way, like drinking. Below are steps to deal with rejection, and they work in almost any circumstance.
Try to distance yourself from your ex lover ad nauseum. The best thing you can do at this point is feign indifference. Don’t give your ex a reason to pity you or justify the break up. This means absolutely no calling, visiting, or drunk dialing your ex.
Erase the Past
The relationship is over. You need to either dispose of or store memorabilia. By doing this you are effectively dissolving the relationship. As the saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind.” Storing some items is ok as long as you don’t find yourself constantly returning to them trying to figure out where the relationship went wrong.
Don’t Bottle Up Emotions
Don’t bottle up your emotions. You should consult your friends and family to try and gain perspective and peace of mind. You’re friends are there for times when you feel vulnerable and need guidance. It makes them feel useful and helps them understand you better.
You can also write down what you’re feeling to get it out of your head. Writing lists of what you liked and didn’t like about a relationship in a journal helps you identify how the relationship was flawed. It helps you understand why the breakup happened and even helps you improve the way you operate in future relationships.
The most imminent threat of post relationship drinking is drunk dialing. It’s a relatively innocent offense, but drinking can breed much more disastrous decisions as well. Drinking and driving is a distinct possibility, punching through windows not uncommon, and killing oneself unfortunately not unheard of. Drinking or doing drugs after a breakup is not advisable.
Keep Yourself Occupied
You can take up a new hobby, focus on your work, or do an abundance of things. Keeping yourself occupied is a great way to put your ex lover out of your mind and at the same time sublimate your time. However, don’t inundate yourself with tasks as a way to cope because you might just end up stressing yourself out more. A nice balance is desirable.
Don’t let a breakup make you feel like crap. Getting a makeover rejuvenates your spirits, and helps you feel like a new person. In addition, it keeps you in the game and maintains your appearance so you can hopefully find someone else to date.
Give Yourself Time
You’re going to be upset for a while, but eventually you are going to feel better. The sooner you realize this the faster you will recover.
Social situations may seem like a burden shortly after a break-up, but don’t let yourself use your misery as an excuse to avoid them for too long, especially in scenarios where you may meet other women or men. Even if you don’t intend to court anyone, go out, enjoy yourself, and most importantly attempt to interact with the opposite sex. The sooner you do this the sooner you’ll see that the things you loved about your ex are not exclusive to them. Fish sticks.
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