You Know You’re A Science Major If  (Part 1 of a Series)
  • You Know You’re A Science Major If  (Part 1 of a Series)   for science dr insano doctor nostalgia critic that guy with demotivational poster 1274272750 297x300

    Image Taken From Motifake.com

  • You can focus a microscope in 20 seconds or less
  • You tell people your major and they ask why you would do that to yourself
  • You know what anthracene is
  • Your girlfriend/boyfriend knows what anthracene is
  • You think that Political “science” or Decision “sciences” majors are wannabes
  • You feel the urge to strangle anyone who asks why water is polar at the end of the semester
  • You’ve spent over $700 on textbooks in one semester alone
  • Bill Nye the Science Guy was your favorite TV show growing up
  • You make a long list of questions every time you go to see the professor
  • You understand calculus, but you can’t remember how to do long division
  • You’ve conducted some form of research
  • You have a pet named after a scientist
  • You’re in the Biology club
  • You’re a member of Sigma Xi
  • You inform people in other majors that their results aren’t statistically significant
  • You can draw 2-acetoxybenzoic acid
  • You mention a “blunt probe” and people look at you strangely
  • You know what a “buckyball” is
  • You’ve ever wondered what it would be like to travel through a wormhole
  • You’ve used an entire 3-subject notebook for one subject
  • You think invertebrates are way cooler than vertebrates
  • You think plants are way cooler than people
  • You’ve pondered how one might reach “absolute zero”
  • You’ve actually used every function on your graphing calculator
  • You’ve started and/or witnessed a fire in a laboratory
  • You’ve blown something up
  • You’ve prevented someone else from blowing something up
  • You can extract your own DNA with a toothpick and dishwashing detergent
  • You’ve always wanted to get married on the moon
  • You have your own lab coat
  • “In the hood” means something completely different to you than it does to most people
  • You’ve been exposed to chemicals known to cause birth defects
  • You’ve been exposed to carcinogens
  • You’ve been inside a room marked with a “biohazard” or “radiation” sign
  • You know what “DNA” actually stands for
  • You can’t free-style rap without including “DNA” in the lyrics
  • The words “Hardy-Weinberg” make you shudder
  • You’ve actually tattooed a molecule or marine organism onto your body
  • You’ve calculated “standard deviation” more than 20 times
  • You can pronounce the ingredients on the back of everyday household items
  • You can draw the chemical structure of ingredients on the back of everyday household items
  • You know the probability of an asteroid hitting the Earth, and have several plans to stop said asteroid
  • You’re jealous when someone says they “only” got 6 hours of sleep last night
  • You’ve always wanted to travel to another world
  • You’ve got a plan for how to communicate with the aliens you might encounter
  • You laugh every time you tell people that “dihydrogen monoxide” is the most deadly chemical known to man and they believe you
  • People have looked up from their work in the library when you’ve mentioned “back-side attacks”
  • You’ve attempted to build a portal/gravity gun
  • You know what a Saturn V rocket is, and you have a 1/100 scale model of one in your room
  • You have more than 2 science books on your desk at any given time
  • You can name just about every bone in the body
  • “OH” makes you think of a hydroxy group, not “Ohio”
  • You have holes in your clothes from when acid was spilled on them
  • You’ve accidentally made Chlorine gas
  • You invert a food item about 7 times when the package says “shake well”
  • You know what Sulfur smells like
  • You know the difference between “xylem” and “phloem”
  • You can give other students a botanical tour of the campus
  • You think rock formations are “awesome”
  • You’ve ever referred to 1,000 years as “very short”
  • You’ve taken a 300-level lab course or higher
  • You’ve submitted a proposal for funding
  • You regularly conduct “thought-experiments” that involve your least favorite professor
  • You know the difference between “tendons” and “ligaments”
  • You know the scientific name for the common fruit fly
  • You know 5 or more scientific names by heart
  • At least half of those names are for creatures that are extinct
  • You have your own block of dry ice
  • Your friends claim to be into “vinyl”, but you assure them that you’re way more into “vinyl” than they are
  • You can sing at least one song related to science
  • You know why “PCR” is fantastically amazing
  • You know the “PCR” song
  • You’re very much in need of a shave/haircut
  • You feel bad for telling someone who gets on your nerves that electrons are, in fact, positively charged
  • Your professor doesn’t curve grades
  • Your professor is actually insane
  • You know 3 or more science professors on a first-name basis
  • You can calculate a trajectory
  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend can calculate a trajectory
  • You’ve considered being an evil genius
  • You think in acronyms
  • Your front license plate is blue and your rear license plate is red
  • You strongly dislike astrologers
  • “Hedgehog” is a protein to you, not an animal
  • You use et al. regularly when writing papers
  • Creationists pick fights with you
  • You pick fights with Creationists
  • You say “mills” in your everyday language
  • You know how to measure the volume of an irregular object
  • You keep a photo of Marie Curie over your desk –and it turns you on
  • You know what “NASA” stands for
  • You’d like to work for NASA
  • You have worked for NASA
  • Your favorite part of the day is when you get to go to bed
  • You know the four different stages of sleep deprivation
  • You’re good at diluting things
  • You prefer to measure small things in “angstroms”
  • You know the symbol for “angstroms”
  • People often can’t pronounce your major
  • Your cat’s name is Schrödinger
  • You check the meniscus when measuring liquids in the kitchen
  • You refer to your kids as “the F1’s”
  • Family members have no idea what you actually “do” in your classes
  • You know pi to at least 4 decimal places
  • You go to the beach, and all you can think about is how many types of rays are hitting you
  • You’ve used kimwipes as kleenex
  • Your DJ name is “MC Delta-T”
  • You know what the “Drake Equation” is, and you can use it
  • You know the exact speed of light in miles per hour and in kilometers per hour
  • You know how long it takes said light to reach the earth from the sun
  • You can actually give the distance between the earth and the sun
  • You know over half the Greek alphabet, but you can’t speak Greek
  • You have at least one notebook filled with drawings of “cleavage”
  • You’ve ever told someone that they’re “made of starstuff”
  • You know the difference between a comet and an asteroid
  • You stay up all night just to watch a meteor shower
  • You’ve memorized the SyFy channel number
  • You have beakers in your kitchen
  • You bring observation equipment on your vacations
  • You go into the common room to take a break from studying, only to see molecules drawn all over the board
  • You use one hand to unscrew the lids of everyday items
  • You’ve stopped yourself from cooking something when you realize that you don’t have enough of a “limiting reagent” to make the recipe.
  • You’ve used mathematical ratios to adjust the ingredient proportions to accommodate said limiting reagent.
  • You know why a “cell” is called a “cell”
  • You’ve sent an email to Stephen Hawking, which he didn’t answer
  • You know what the “Orion Project” was, and you wish someone would attempt it because that would be cool
  • “Twinkle, twinkle, little star” always bothered you
  • You’re taking at least 2 science courses at the same time, with labs
  • You want to take anyone who doesn’t “believe in” evolution and stick them in your biology lecture
  • You’ve only met one other person with your exact major
  • You know that in some chemical reactions, “HO’s” come before “Bro’s”
  • You know the difference between “accuracy” and “precision”
  • You’ve drawn chemical structures on your wall when you ran out of paper
  • You think of cleaning your room as “decreasing entropy”
  • You use parafilm instead of saran wrap
  • You’ve been in a debate over whether Pluto is a planet
  • You’ve dissected small animals several times
  • You’ve returned to your dorm room reeking of formaldehyde
  • You’ve used up an entire packet of pencils in one semester
  • Your pencil sharpener has gone dull after only two semesters of use
  • You have/had a crush on Rosalind Franklin
  • You’re really tired of calculating molar mass
  • You’ve kept all your textbooks because you’ll end up needing them again
  • You can’t watch a TV show or movie without noticing inconsistencies and mistakes in the science/medical procedure
  • You can draw a perfect pentagon or hexagon with ease
  • You can tell whether a beaker is made of pyrex
  • When someone mentions a new style of “jeans”, you want to calculate their frequency in the student population
  • You know the pathway of blood through the heart… by heart!
  • You cringe when people think that “all natural” or “organic” means something is healthy
  • You wonder if anyone actually knows what “electrolytes” and “free radicals” even are when they talk about them
  • You’ve purchased your own pair of lab goggles
  • You think using million-dollar equipment just to test a hunch is perfectly practical
  • You want to visit the hadron collider
  • You know what hadrons are
  • You laugh every time the professor talks about ethanol
  • You know that alcohol is not the answer… unless the question is “what happens when you hydrate an alkene with a concentrated sulfuric acid catalyst?”
  • You have a favorite microorganism
  • You know how a lava lamp works
  • You draw punnett squares when discussing future children with your significant other
  • You built a “baking soda and vinegar” volcano during your childhood
  • You hate it when people say “baking soda” instead of “sodium bicarbonate”
  • You always make a mental note of where the nearest fire extinguisher is
  • You feel strange when not wearing closed-toed shoes
  • You’ve had a class where half the students dropped out within the first two weeks
  • You were nodding and laughing while reading this list
  • You’ve already started calculating the percentage of these statements that relate to you
  • You’ve written a list like this

Feel free to add to the list!

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I'm a digital marketing professional, WordPress enthusiast, and lover of art / design that works out of the greater Boston area. I spend about 20% of my time learning, 80% of my time working, 23% of my time tinkering, 15.7% of my time watching Netflix, and 5% of my time intentionally failing at percentages.